Rachael Zarda

Because our wedding was a few weeks ago, I thought I’d write about how it all started. I posted this photo on Instagram a while back and it prompted some good conversation about dating. I love writing about style, but I also love reading more personal stories occasionally from other bloggers, so incorporating these kinds of posts seemed like a natural progression here.

I always thought I’d find my husband in the grocery store checkout, or some equally cute situation that I’d be able to recount over and over again when people asked “how we met”. Maybe that’s a result of being a hopeless romantic and watching movies like You’ve Got Mail on repeat.

The reality is that I’m an introverted, homebody that would rather have a one-on-one conversation with a friend over a glass of wine and sushi in my sweatpants over going to a bar in hopes of someone coming up to me to strike up a conversation. If you live in Kansas City and have dated for 10 seconds, you know the probability of that happening is slim to zero.

I’d gotten out of a long-term relationship in 2016 and hadn’t been single when dating apps were first gaining traction. Being single again was hard for me for a while. I felt really discouraged about having to start dating again. I took some time off and focused on my own wholeness. I read, I traveled, I started meditating and praying more, taking care of my body, and practicing giving myself grace.

After a year, a few friends and I decided to create Tinder profiles together. I was skeptical, and felt some shame in it, if I’m being completely honest, because of the negative reputation that it’s landed with some. But I pushed myself to go on a few dates and learned that first dates could just be fun, low-pressure meet-ups. That the guy didn’t have to be THE ONE (although deep down I think I’d hoped they would be). Being in a healthy place personally, combined with the handful of dates I went on that never resulted in a relationship were good practice for when I met someone I really cared about.

I shared a few weeks ago on Instagram something not everyone knows about Zach and I: we met on Tinder.

It’s still something I occasionally have to remind myself to say with confidence when people ask. I thought it important to share our story, to help the stigma of dating apps dissipate. For those of you whom have found connection through online dating, you know that it doesn’t lessen or cheapen your story.

Zach and I had friends in common and he made me laugh. He picked me up for dinner, opened the car door for me, and was just generally thoughtful throughout the entire date. I loved the way he spoke about his family and his passions. While I could tell he was nervous (I was too), I could also tell he was genuine and he had an energy that I wanted to continue being around.

Long story short, I know that online dating is scary and exhausting and sometimes discouraging. But I hope that my story can be a testimony for others that it can and does work. Have you tried any dating apps? What do you think about them? I’d love to hear your stories, good or bad, below!

I have more wedding, marriage, honeymoon etc. posts in the works, stay tuned!